do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
