I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
