That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
