New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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