So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
