dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
