So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Your cock deserves a montage
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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