well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
FUCK WHALES
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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