then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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