i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
