I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize