honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
