I think I am morally bankrupt
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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