I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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