1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize