Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
