My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
birth control should be required to get into college
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
