you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
