is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize