so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
third nipple confirmed
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
