OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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