ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize