Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
