the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
