it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
