I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize