im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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