Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
