How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The Olympian is in my bed
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
