and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
