there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
