I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
