i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
