I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize