He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
