remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
