The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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