in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize