Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
