That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
