I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
