in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
