if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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