I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
