i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
