I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
