In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
