I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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