Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
