Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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