you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
