doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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