You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
