It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
