That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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