Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize