I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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