You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
