we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
