I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
