i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
