idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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