We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
