I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
