a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
