I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize