That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
