Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
