I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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