wrigley field is MILF paradise
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
