i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize