Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
