I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
