Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
