We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize