C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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