I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
