Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
