I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
