i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize