He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i out mim tonsoeep
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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