you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
