i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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